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In light of the source of my eternal torment, namely the final paper on the devious mechanisms of Business Law, denial has bestowed unto me safe passage in writing to distract myself from the now. The only true shred of knowledge that I can confidently proclaim would be that it is illegal to commit a crime.
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May it please the court, my name is @thintbites and I am counsel for all things culinary in nature. The defendant, W39 Bistro & Bakery has, in retrospect, engaged in criminal behaviour that is unlawful in the eyes of the common law: serving disappointing food. It was an implied term that the dishes that the plaintiffs had ordered was going to be parts of a delectable whole. In accordance with Section 14.2A in the Sales of Goods Act which states that the “goods are of satisfactory quality if they meet the standard that a reasonable person would regard as satisfactory, taking account of any description of the goods, the price (if relevant) and all the other relevant circumstances”, the defendant had failed to deliver as promised, serving up dishes that were imbalanced in flavours, minimal in portion and lacking in any redeeming factors whatsoever.
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The Chef’s Special Assam Seabass and Fragrant Rice ($22) was unfortunately, anything but special. The assam gravy was simply too heavy and imbalanced, and for its price, was not of satisfactory quality. The Chicken Roulade ($22) had a glimmer of hope; in that it was a good attempt at a correct concept, but lacked the refinement and balance of a good dish. It was a roller coaster of flavours, but rather the kind of roller coaster that makes you dizzy and nauseous, leaving you lying on the cold hard ground. The only promising dish of the night was the Pork Cheek Quesadilla ($20), with meltingly tender pulled pork cheek in tortilla wraps. The Starter Platter ($32) will allow one to select from any four of their unimaginative starters, and ironically had to be the least value-for-money in terms of the anticipated quality of it all with bland fries, run-of-the-mill mozzarella sticks and sautéed mushrooms that were simply a tired attempt at a country classic.
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With that, I rest my case. Thank you your honour.