For $14 you get fried spam, caramelised onions, scrambled eggs, and some sriracha mayo in a bagel. I’m not gonna lie: in a basic-ass bagelwich like this, the only component I could possibly rave about would be the bagel — which, here, is unfortunately nothing noteworthy. In fact it was hardly what I’d call a bagel at all, boasting a texture more akin to a French roll sans the crisp crust. Don’t get me wrong this wasn’t bad at all — one can hardly fuck up spam and eggs — and it definitely was satisfactory enough to hit the spot. Would I recommend intentionally having it? Naaaaah.

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