If you don’t already know about the whole Ah Tai versus Tian Tian saga, here’s a quick rundown. Guy works as the head chef for Tian Tian chicken rice, has a falling out with the owners, tells the Tian Tian boss “screw you, I’ll start my own chicken rice stall with blackjack and hookers”, and promptly proceeds to set up Ah Tai.

Okay fine, maybe the ‘blackjack and hookers’ part didn’t happen, but there’s no denying that Ah Tai is eying up Tian Tian menacingly from three stalls (not doors) down. If you came here expecting a ‘oh x is better’ review, well, get disappointed right now because that is NOT what this review is.

As a matter of fact, I have never tried Tian Tian before. Every time I headed down to Maxwell, I took one look at the ridiculous line for Tian Tian and went “yeah nah, I’m too hungry to deal with that”.

But I can and will tell you right now that holy shit Ah Tai is Ah-mazing. The chicken flesh was like butter. Or butt-ah, depending on which pronunciation tickles your fancy. The perfectly piquant steamed chicken hit the spot with its stupidly sensational savoriness, and the skin...oh my God. The skin is a gift from God, and even I fail to find words to adequately describe the skin.

The ridiculously redolent rice beneath that divine chicken makes a plate of Ah Tai’s chicken rice the complete package. It’s soft, sensually slick and superbly savory, and is everything every grain of rice aspires to be when it grows up. When the chicken and rice that have been doused in Ah Tai’s special sauce penetrates your lips, it’s a veritable orgasm of wondrous sensations that you just don’t want to end.