Bloody Beautiful Burgers

Bloody Beautiful Burgers

The person who invented the burger probably didn't foresee just how far burgers have evolved since it was created (probably by accident). If he/she did, they would probably have wept tears of joy over some of these breathtaking burgers.
Russell Leong
Russell Leong

Wolf Burgers has been around for years at pasarbella, and it’s been pretty reliable down through the years. A pair of thicc, xtra joocy medium rare patties dressed with sliced cheese & caramelised onions engulfed between a pair of bouncy brown buns should be the most complete meal a man can get.

Well, there was one thing missing this time unfortunately.

WHERE’S THE SEASONING, YOU DONKEYYY

Also $6 cheese fries ain’t really worth it. It’s good, but not worth six bucks.

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So, Five Guys have finally opened up a flagship restaurant in Singapore. No, I’m not talking about THAT wildly famous meme a lot more dudes know about than they let on. I’m talking about that burger joint from MURICA that everyone can’t shut up about.⠀

$17 nett sounds disgustingly expensive for a bacon cheeseburger, but you gotta keep in mind that the burgers that aren’t prefixed by a ‘little’ are double patty burgers. Plus, you get unlimited toppings like grilled onions, grilled mushrooms and jalapeños.⠀

The patties themselves were felicitously juicy despite being cooked to a non-negotiable medium well, and they were sufficiently seasoned. Of course, when I chose to back ‘em up with breathtaking bacon & gloriously grilled onions & mushrooms, it just gets a whole lot better.⠀

The closest comparison I can think of to describe a Five Guys burger is Carl’s Jr. when they initially opened up in Singapore. That was way before their standards went into an uncontrollable freefall, just like my life (ha ha ha no I’m not crying you are). The burgers are satisfyingly stellar without being overbearingly rich, and they’re juicy while keeping the grease well controlled.⠀

$17 for a double patty cheeseburger is a once in a while splurge that you can convince yourself to close an eye to, but the waiting time is a massive turn off. Yeah, your burger comes in like fifteen to twenty minutes, but you gotta wait half an hour or more before that just to put your order down. ⠀

The verdict? The double patty bacon cheeseburger is arguably worth seventeen bucks, but wise is the (wo)man who waits till everyone’s pissed off to some other new & flash place before putting out for Five Guys.

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So, what do you do when you’re bored of eating 排骨王 with rice? Well, at Keng Eng Kee’s Wok In Burger, you ditch the rice and stuff that marvellous meat between a pair of soft, brown buns.

Keng Eng Kee’s pork ribs already have a royal reputation for being tremendously tender, fabulously flavourful and majestically moist, so the meat in the buns is already marvellous. Adding a dollop of sharp coleslaw into the burger was an inspired move, and added a fresh zest & crunch to a burger that was saturated with sweet & savoury notes.

At $9.80 nett, it’s a little expensive for a hawker burger, but the sterling sumptuousness and unquestionable quality of the burger certainly aids in alleviating the pinch.

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I’m a bit of a softie for soft shell crab, so I just had to order Refuel II’s soft shell crab burger ($13.50 nett). I’m gonna be honest with ya, it’s nothing special, nor is it memorably magnificent. It was decent. Yeah, it was decent.

The soft shell crab was nicely fried and didn’t carry around too much excess oil, and it was rather meaty, which was certainly a nice surprise. However, what really made this burger great was the wasabi mayonnaise. The dollop of wasabi mayo on it was a serious, no bullcrab and absolutely kickass mayo mix. It had a very feisty kick of wasabi, mixed with the creamy addictiveness of mayonnaise. The only problem I had with it was the notable lack of it on the burger. MORE!

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These days, all the discerning craft beer pubs dish out a plethora of palate pleasing food to accompany their booze bonanza, and Orh Gao Taproom does it exceptionally well, or at least with this here pulled pork burger ($17 before 10% service charge).

Built out of a pair of soft, tanned buns that you just wanna bury your face into and eat, a good amount of slightly sweet, slightly sharp purple ‘slaw, and a whole load of pulled pork that’s been smoked for six hours, this burger is a thing of beauty.

I was highly concerned that the soft buns wouldn’t be able to hold up against the mountain of saucy pulled pork, but apparently my concern was misplaced as those buns did get a little soggy but were never under threat of disintegrating.

The pulled pork was majestically moist and stupendously savoury, and that six hour smoking definitely paid off handsomely. The barbecue sauce the pork was tossed in was all the right amounts of sweet, salty and sour, but it did get overbearing towards the final third of the burger. The purple slaw along with my pint of beer on the side swooped into action, the beer washing down the burger while the slaw provided a refreshing crunchiness to the otherwise soft burger.

Boozy beers & brilliant burgers are all that’s needed for a bulking bro, trust me. And Orh Gao certainly do both very, very excellently.

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Oh. Mah. Gawd. Becky. Look at that burger. It’s so big, it looks like one of those fat guy’s burgers. And yes, I am indescribably delighted to be guts deep in this beauty of a burger. Simply (and sorta underwhelmingly) titled as the ‘Southern Fried Chicken Burger’ ($20++), this brilliant burger is a front runner for ‘best damn burger in Singapore’.

What I assume to be a whole, jumbo sized thigh fillet from and extra thick chicken is jammed between a pair of fluffy, bouncy buns and generously lubricated by a judicious application of liquid cheese and decorated by a leaf of lettuce and a slice of tomato. The batter that the chicken is cocooned in is light and charmingly crispy, and the chicken is slightly spicy, but seasoned to savory satisfaction and is outstandingly juicy.

This is a tasty burger, and it’s one hell of a messy one too. Take this hot meat between your lips, and soon that warm cheese is gonna squirt everywhere as you futilely fight to maintain a modicum or modesty. Make sure you’ve got an army of napkins on deck, cause this bad boy is going to rock your world and leave a massive mess.

The sides are a little unconventional, as cornbread isn’t really a burger’s best buddy, and the purple slaw would be what you’d expect to see on the burger itself. Instead, you’d expect to see both elements as the supporting squad to a amply sized rack of ribs, or some fabulous fried chicken. However, they work wonders here. The cornbread was pleasantly sweet without overdoing it, and was temptingly moist. The slaw was also sweet without going overboard, but with that all important edge of acidity to take some of the richness off the burger.

The only complaint I had was that there wasn’t nearly enough slaw to go round, as the pleasurable palate profile and the addictive crunchiness of the coleslaw made it a ride you never wanted to end.

Pair it up with a pint of beer from the tap ($9.90 all day, son), or two glasses of crisp Chardonnay for $16 if you’re feelin’ fancy. That’s Gucci Gang right there, right in the G spot.

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New generation burger hawkers aren’t exactly anything new, considering that the original pioneers blazed their trail on Singapore’s hawker scene about what, half a decade ago? Still, it’s just good business, and Hammee’s certainly seems to be doing a lot of that.

The highlight of Hammee’s Double Classic Cheeseburger ($8, $2 extra for bacon) are the two beef patties that are made out of a blend of brisket and chuck mince. The patties themselves are chock full of intense, satisfying beefy flavors, partially thanks to them being grilled with beef tallow.

Even though the patties are cooked to well done, they are marvelously juicy and the texture is sensational. The smoky bacon rashers did obfuscate the taste of the beef patties a little, but they added an irresistibly addictive chewiness to the burger that made it all worth it.

The deluge of melted American cheese blanketing each patty adds even more flavor and a luscious creaminess to the burger while holding it all together, while the charmingly caramelized onions were sumptuously sweet and added more dimension to the burger. The bun used might not be a brioche bun, but it was slightly sweet, and was perfectly toasted. The bottom bun retained its texture and never got soggy even towards the last few bites of the burger. I was pretty sure that the burger was missing the chopped pickled jalapeños, but I didn’t miss it at all as the burger was already superb enough on its own.

The only real issue here is the long waiting time. I went down on a Sunday after 2, and it took about more than half an hour for my burger to arrive. My advice would definitely be don’t come hungry, you’ll get hungry during the wait. Or you could just order juice from the nearby juice stalls to bide your time. Either way, you’re gonna need the patience of a saint for some decent burgers that are worth every dollar.

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Just like everything else, the Ozzies have to do it different from everyone else. From building houses upside down to wearing clothes back to front, everything is different in Australia. Case in point is Hungry Jack’s, which is basically Burger King but way better.

I have no idea what they put inside that juicy, ridiculously redolent 100% Aussie beef patty, but all I know is that I want it all. And yes, you can Have It Your Way.

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Rascal has a lineup of special burgers that operates on a weekly roster, and the Joe Beef (A$16) was the special on the week that I paid a visit to this bastion of burgeoning burgers.

A thick, juicy ground wagyu beef patty is savagely laden down with a slice of melted American cheese, two rashers of bacon and a generous heap of poutine. Yes that’s right, don’t adjust your television sets, you read that right. There’s POUTINE on your burger, and it’s downright delicious.

The greatly gratifying gravy blended excellently with the maple syrup that had been drizzled over the bacon (because Canada, eh?), while those soft, ridiculously rich chunks of cheese curd added even more creaminess and saltiness to the burger. And to cap it all off, those glorious golden brown and utterly perfect hand cut fries are there to make this calorie bomb the ultimate bomb.com that’ll fire you straight into Flavortown.

If you don’t think that this burger is an utterly eh grade burger, then you don’t know wot you’re talking aboot.

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The Happy Wombat’s Southern Fried Chicken Burger proves that it’s always done dirty down south. A thick, deep fried slab of buttermilk marinated free range chicken is smothered under an avalanche of The Happy Wombat’s tangy housemade slaw and jalapeños before cheese and an abundance of buffalo sauce completes the burger.

Every single element in the burger is terrific, and then they fuse together, it’s a maelstrom of magnificent flavors. The rich, savory buffalo sauce lubricates the slightly dry fried chicken breast and imparts even more flavor into the fray, while that tangy, zingy ‘slaw cuts through all that density to keep your tastebuds from suffering from an overload of richness. Of course, the spicy jalapeños are on station to pump even more zing and their characteristically mild spice into the burger.

But wait, there is more! That’s right, call within the next 10 minutes, and you get a heaping side of stellar sweet potato fries!

Overall, it’s what a fried chicken burger should be, dirty, delicious, downright decadent, and best paired with a cold pint straight from the tap.

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Here’s the funny thing about pork belly: in the Asian culinary world, it’s the Holy Grail, the Rolls Royce of all cuts of swine. However, in the Caucasian culinary world, it’s a cheap cut of meat that most wouldn’t bother with unless they needed bacon.

Fortunately for me, Grill’d, a proudly Aussie burger chain, isn’t gonna let the lowly status of pork belly dissuade them from working some magic with it.

The Underbelly (A$15.90) isn’t just some seedy scrapper from the slums, it’s quite the superstar in its own right. Two sizable slabs of slow cooked pork belly that’s been marinated in Grill’d’s top secret marinade is fused with a refreshingly light zucchini & kale slaw as well as their proprietary Green Goddess Mayo.

While it is a little oily due to the fat on the pork belly, it’s undeniably unctuous and that slow cooking just makes that pork belly melt away in your mouth. The moderately creamy and pleasantly herbal qualities of the Green Goddess Mayo serve as a pleasant perfume, as well as adding even more flavor into the mix.

The additional zucchini chips I had on the side were rather disappointing though. Instead of being the razor thin slices of deep fried zucchini that resembled potato chips, it was a thick cut of zucchini that had been battered and deep fried. As you might’ve expected, it was dreadfully soggy, but at least the chipotle mayo on the side was a bit uplifting to the otherwise dreary zucchini chips.

The Underbelly is probably one of the many factors of what’s contributing to my burgeoning belly, but damn it tastes so good.

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So, what’s new with Third & Sixth’s burgers? Well, they’ve changed the polarizing crusty burger buns which I personally liked to soft, fluffy artisanal buns that are universally liked.

Other than that, the ground beef patty is still the juicy and fantastically flavorful patty that I remember from my last visit. Slap on a rasher of beautiful bacon, a slice of majestically melted cheese and a dollop of barbecue sauce, and you’ll be in beefy bliss.

1 Like

Alcohol may not be good for my body, but my body is good for alcohol.

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