Bloody Beautiful Burgers

Bloody Beautiful Burgers

The person who invented the burger probably didn't foresee just how far burgers have evolved since it was created (probably by accident). If he/she did, they would probably have wept tears of joy over some of these breathtaking burgers.
Russell Leong
Russell Leong

@ordinaryburgers are anything but ordinary, believe me. Their excellent ebi burgers are only $10.20 with a can of cola and your choice of either french fries or onion rings, and it’s well worth your money. The piquant prawn patty is coated with panko breadcrumbs before being delectably deep fried to a glorious golden brown crisp. ⠀

Next up, some basic yet irresistible processed American cheese is melted over the top of the patty, before a dollop of Kewpie(?) mayonnaise goes on, and finally two halves of a soft, fluffy burger bun sandwich all that fried fabulousness. I’m not quite sure what the filler was in the patty, but it was delightfully delish, and had a texture almost akin to fishcake. Of course, the superb shrimp were snappy & fresh, and there was quite an abundance of shrimp inside. It’s a simple yet brilliant burger, and that’s all you need sometimes.⠀

Ordinary Burgers? No way fam. These burger are EXTRAordinary, and the sides are sublime. All those big fast food chains better watch out, cause these humble burgers will have them thoroughly beat.

Get into the Mamba Mentality with the maniacal Mamba Burger ($19) from A colossal collab between @meatsmith_sg & @parkbenchdeli where the madlads from both sides took a fantastic cheeseburger from Meatsmith, and shoved in a massive mound of meat in the form of smoked beef pastrami AND corned beef. Because, y’know, more meat makes meat even better. Science, bitch!⠀

I have fawned over Meatsmith’s fantastic cheeseburgers before, and it’s the same here. A 100% brisket patty has 2 slices of MURICAN cheese melted over it. Before the top half of the dense & soft potato bun comes in to seal the deal, the pastrami & corned beef are heaped atop the patty, a helping of homemade coleslaw joins in the orgy, said orgy is lubricated by redolent Russian dressing, and a pair of pickles quietly slid in through the backdoor and are just trying hard to blend in.⠀

Yes, it’s a maelstrom of meat, but it’s a goddamn magnificent maelstrom of meat, and you WILL love it (or else). The normal smokiness of the cheeseburger patty gets upped by about 200% due to the charming corned beef & pastrami, which are supremely smoky & satisfyingly salty. Oh, and they’re pretty tender too. The corn in the ‘slaw is hopelessly out of place, but hey since it’s here might as well.⠀

The Mamba is a massive, meat-laden burger that requires you to make like a snake to fit the entire thing in your maw, but it is unadulterated & greatly gratifying gluttony at its best. Unfortunately, it’s a takeaway & delivery only exclusive, which means that it will almost never be enjoyed at its hot, fresh off the grill prime. They should make this a permanent fixture at both @meatsmith_sg & @parkbenchdeli, so that everyone can gorge themselves on the glorious creation.⠀

Currently it’s only available till Valentines Day, so fellas... give your special lady the gift of your massive, meaty Mamba on the 14th and she’ll love you 3000 5ever.

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Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal⠀

That’s right, the Samurai Burger (a.k.a. @mcdsg best burger since the vanishing of the Fan-tastic burgers) is back, baby! It’s essentially a Big Mac, but way better. Sure, there ain’t no cheese in there, but a deluge of McDonald’s own teriyaki sauce soaks the whole burger, and the mysteriously marvellous McChicken mayo is slathered all over the top.⠀

Look, imma keep it real with you chief. This ain’t no gourmet burger, this is a down & dirty burger you order to get that persistent itch for a greasy thing that encompasses meaty, salty, sweet & umami savagely scratched. God damn if it isn’t fantastic. And if you don’t like this burger, I regret to inform you that you have the coronavirus. How do I know you have the big coof, you ask? Well, it’s simple.⠀

You clearly lack a sense of taste.


@hattendo_singapore eponymous big boi burger, the Pipes Burger($21.90), is available for daylight robbery with #burpplebeyond. Yeah, y’all already know the drill: two for the price of one. And this colossal burger ain’t an exception.⠀

The same fluffy burger buns barely contain the square of tamago, the ultra T H I C C hamburg patty, and the slice of foie gras. You will probably need to dislocate your jaw to get everything in one bite, but trust me when I say it’s worth it. The foie gras was a touch overcooked, but it still served satisfactorily as an indecently indulgent lubricant. A sort of meaty butter, if you will.⠀

The patty was oddly powdery in texture when I bit down into it, but it was still modestly moist & thoroughly well seasoned with an extra spicy slap from the hickory pepper sauce.The caramelised mirin onion marmalade injected a subtle yet scintillating sweetness into the burger, which was very well received. The omelette felt like an unnecessary addition to the burger as it was completely overshadowed by everything else, but it is what it is. And it, my friends, is a tasty burger.⠀

Once again, much love to @hattendo_singapore & @burpple for having us at this Eatup!

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Not gonna lie folks, the burgers do seem a little out of place on @hattendo_singapore menu, sandwiched awkwardly between the rice bowl & pasta sections of the menu. However, when they’re as addictively appetising as the Aburiya A4 wagyu beef burger ($19.90), nobody really cares about that.⠀

This burger here is an ambitious crossover between Hattendo & Aburi-ya, the Japanese grilled meat ricebowl chain, and it’s a little outta left field. Instead of a regular hamburger patty, an abundance of roasted A4 wagyu beef slices are the meat in the burger, all snuggled up atop a square of omelette between the slightly oily but fabulously fluffy burger buns.⠀

That’s right, it’s a roast beef sandwich, but goddamn if it ain’t downright delectable. The roast beef is sufficiently fatty while sporting a deliciousness borne from the secret Aburi-ya sauce that dresses it. The omelette was considerably denser than I would’ve expected, but it’s all good. The guacamole slathered on the underside of the top bun provides a little extra lube, but it doesn’t bring much to the flavour party. The fluffy, beautiful buns may have been slathered with butter a little too enthusiastically, but hey it’s a burger. Go all out and enjoy it to its fullest, fellas.⠀

I kinda feel like a broken record at this point, but yes, #burpplebeyond gets you two of these plumptious pretties for the price of one. Two brilliant burgers for under twenty bucks? Oh hell yeah lesss goooo!!!⠀


@shakeshacksg Shackmeister burger is just a standard Shackburger, minus the vegetables, but with the addition of deep fried shallots. These deep fried shallots ain’t just any old, boring shallots, they’ve been marinated in Shake Shack’s proprietary Shackmeister Ale. A subtle sweetness is imparted from the ale to the shallots, and it’s a nice changeup from the intense onslaught of the salty, beefy flavours from the burger.⠀

Yes, of course I had a double Shackmeister ($14.40). You don’t get to be my size without going big & living large. It’s an insanely indulgent burger, with the juicy, scintillatingly seasoned pair of beef patties accentuated & augmented by the sapid, stellar ShackSauce. That’s wedged between those perfect potato buns, which were slightly sweet, deliciously dense & sinfully soft. It could’ve all been too much of a good thing, but the light, airy crunchiness of the deep fried shallots were there to keep me going strong.⠀

Still, having a cup of lemonade or a refreshing beer on hand to wash down the rich, delicious greasiness is still strongly advised. I wanted a pint of the Shackmeister ale to wash down this tasty burger, but it seems like they used all the ale to deep fry those scrumptious shallots. Also, I don’t think I’ve lavished enough praise on Shake Shack’s fantastic french fries. Yes, they’re plain, but by God these fries are fabulous. Crispy, salty and absurdly addictive, these spuds are simply stunning.⠀

Oh well, I’ve still got fourteen more days to wash down fourteen more of these tasty burgers with fourteen pints of Shackmeister ale. That’s the plan, that’s the hope, that’s the dream.

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If memory doesn’t fail me, used to operate at 313 Somerset before they suddenly shut down. However, they’ve made a rather quiet comeback at NAFA, directly across the street from Sunshine Plaza. They now serve up brilliant beef burgers & fantastic fried chicken, along with a monthly special.⠀

November’s special is this homely looking Signature Chicken Burger ($11 nett), which tends to run out of stock pretty rapidly everyday. A ‘GG’ French Poulet (a breed of chicken from Sabres, France) Boneless Chicken Thigh Fillet from Toh Thye San Farms is grilled to glorious perfection before becoming the marvellously mouthwatering meat in the ultra T H I C C brioche bun sandwich. Said brioche buns are toasted to perfection and have been slathered with kimchi mayonnaise, and finally the whole shebang is garnished with pickled onions.⠀

It’s a simple sandwich, but it’s quite unbeatable. The main flavour provider is that utterly umami kimchi mayo, which provides a sprightly spiciness & a little tartness alongside the deep, salty creaminess of the mayonnaise. As a matter of fact, Wildfire could’ve slathered on that majestic mayo more liberally which would greatly heighten the already potent piquancy of this chicken burger, but no complaints, no regrets.⠀

I didn’t think it possible for chicken to melt in the mouth, but this thigh fillet pretty much did that. It’s immensely juicy, yet the texture & weightiness of the chicken was ethereally light. The smokiness from the grill had thoroughly permeated every atom of chicken, and as weird as it sounds, it’s like eating majestically meaty & joyously juicy smoke. The buns may look a little too thick, but like the rest of the burger, they were ludicrously light & far, far too easy to gobble down. The sweet pickled onions were divinely inspired, adding a sweet, sharp tang that bound the entire burger together for a maelstrom of mouthwatering magnificence.⠀

This burger may not look like it, but it’s perfectly balanced, as all things should be. GG WP indeed.


I tried to order the bao burgers, or ‘baogers’ as I like to call em, from @zoeysdiner twice. Unfortunately, @grabfoodsg has a terrible problem with finding drivers to deliver food, so I was left disappointedly starving on both occasions. Well, third time’s the charm, and I was chowing down on the Crispy Ebi Cake baoger after about an hour or so.⠀

At $14.40 for a full set with sweet potato fries and a brilliant black sugar caramel oolong milk tea, it ain’t too shabby. I did add on a little extra for a slice of chicken honey ham, and it was worth it. It was more of a steak than a slice of ham, and yes, it superbly satisfied my inner carnivore.⠀

The un-upgraded Crispy Ebi Cake baoger is decent enough on its own. The wasabi mayo was pretty powerful, with enough wasabi to clear out any sinuses. The ebi cake, while delightfully deep fried, wasn’t very flavourful. It relied far too much on the wonderful wasabi mayo, and could be seasoned a lot better. Texturally, it’s excellent with a nice bounciness with every bite, while the bao buns were a little soggy. They could’ve definitely been lightly toasted or panfried for a little more texture, which would help to elevate the burger.⠀

The baogers from @zoeysdiner are decent enough, but there’s a fair bit of improvement that could be made to the baogers to make them even more irresistibly indulgent.

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I never found time to try out @threebunssg, but they found me at home with @deliveroo_sg. Yeah, now I regret every single day that I’ve missed out on all their brilliant burgers. The Fun Boy Three ($26.75 before delivery charge) was a real fungi (geddit?) thanks to yuge portobello mushroom perched upon the thick, marvellously meaty beef patty.⠀

I like big burgs and I cannot lie, you other brothas can’t deny. I want ‘em real thick and juicy, and the Fun Boy Three definitely delivers. The Tasmanian Vintage beef patty is scintillatingly savoury, satisfyingly meaty, and jubilantly juicy. It could do with more char on the exterior, but that’s a minor nitpick in all honesty.

The earthy, moreish mushroom which has been swaddled in melted smoked applewood cheddar just increases the absolute satisfaction of each and every bite. The meat & mushroom is lubed up with a tremendously tantalising truffle aioli AND garlic miso butter, and the lubed up meat is jammed between two fluffy, pillowy and tanned big buns. That ain’t just satisfaction, that’s a food orgasm.

Three Buns’ house fries are absolutely addictive, and despite taking a 45 minute road trip to my crib, they were still compellingly crisp on the outside while being soft & savoury on the inside. Of course, it gets brought back to life after reheating for ten minutes in a conventional oven, and the burger gets a second wind after taking five in an oven.⠀

The Fun Boy Three is certainly expensive, but I’d be lying if I said that it wasn’t well worth every damn penny I invested into it.

@wildbloomssg has a fabulously felicitous fried fish fillet burger going for $13.90 nett, and it’s quite easily one of the better fish burgers round town. It don’t look like much, but this is a classic case of the insides counting for more than outward appearances.⠀

I’ve never understood the whole charcoal burger bun thing, and it’s really just a fluffy, satisfyingly carb loaded bun that’s coloured black. It’s the fish fillet that makes this burger so extremely enjoyable. The chunky fish is encased in a light, crispy batter, and both batter & fillet are scintillatingly seasoned. There’s a lot of hate out there for American cheese, which is essentially processed Kraft cheese. However, it is the perfect fit for a fantastic fried fish fillet such as this one mounted between these buns.⠀

I’m not a fan of the decidedly un-aesthetic shredded lettuce, which could be replaced by so many other more appealing vegetables, or perhaps by a colourful coleslaw. Still, this is most certainly one of the more outstanding fish burgers. No doubt about it.

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@burgerandlobstersg is, unsurprisingly, a posh(ish) restaurant that specialises in burgers and, you guessed it, lobsters. What is surprising, however, is that they deliver on @grabfoodsg these days. I’ve kept an eye on them since they opened and there was no way I was gonna pass on this golden opportunity.⠀

I thought the B&L Beast Burger would cost a kidney or something due to it being the most expensive burger on the menu, but it was a tolerable $21.40 before delivery charges. A thick, juicy Nebraskan beef patty and two fresh lobster claws get a beautiful blanket of melted Brie cheese before being enveloped by two halves of a brilliant brioche bun.⠀

The verdict? Mm-hmm! This is a tasty burger. While it’s not a revolutionary burger that’s a must try before you die, it’s still a stellar burger. While the mildly briny & sweet lobster claws get overpowered by the bold burger flavours, they’re still excellent with their mild flavours. Best enjoyed separately, that’s for sure. As for the beef itself, it was sensationally seasoned, joyously juicy and superbly satisfying to devour.

While this burger ain’t that much of a beast, it’s still a beauty.

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@meatsmith_sg are meat maestros, but their burgers are definitely over performing and overshadowing the other mains. Besides their stellar world beater of a double cheeseburger, their beautiful beef marmalade cheeseburger is priced at a very modest $20++.⠀

One of same brisket patties that goes into the standard issue double cheeseburger is present. The replacement for the other patty is an obscenely concentrated beef marmalade. Don’t expect subtlety or balance here, this burger is an all out assault on your tastebuds.⠀

The beef marmalade is composed of pulled beef and onions, caramelised in a redolent reduction that is equally sweet and salty. It’s very nearly an overload for the tongue, and the richness is cranked up to eleven. And finally that majestic marmalade is panfried before it gets loaded on top of one of Meatsmith’s perfect patties. The pickles, while sharp and zesty, aren’t quite enough to cut through the maelstrom of meaty marvellousness.

And that, folks, is how you get the perfect burger that’s been engineered for pleasure. Y’all best remember this about all of Meatsmith’s burgers: THEY DON’T MISS

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Alcohol may not be good for my body, but my body is good for alcohol.

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