Bloody Beautiful Burgers

Bloody Beautiful Burgers

The person who invented the burger probably didn't foresee just how far burgers have evolved since it was created (probably by accident). If he/she did, they would probably have wept tears of joy over some of these breathtaking burgers.
Russell Leong
Russell Leong

Now we get to the meat (or lack thereof really) of the matter: @thegoodburgersg new not-chicken burger, the Tindle patty powered What The Cluck burger ($18 nett). The Tindle fake chicken patty is backed up by those glorious buns, a homemade secret sauce, cheese and pickles. It’s a good ol’ chicken burger from down South, except minus any actual chicken.⠀

The Tindle patty does look like chicken, but it all falls apart the minute you bite into it. Chicken is soft & supple in texture, but the Tindle patty gets increasingly dense the more you bite into it, almost like biting into cardboard. The weird thing about Tindle is that it starts to dissolve into a powdery residue when you start to chew on it, exactly like a paracetamol tablet dissolving on your tongue.⠀

The fake chicken leaves much to be desired, but Goodburger’s batter is stunningly sublime. Crunchy, crispy, craggy and seasoned superbly, the batter rescued the Tindle patty from gastronomic hell. The batter’s loyal wingman is the stellar secret sauce, which is creamy, salty and slightly spicy, which combines well with the melted cheese to smoothen out the textures of the batter. The pickles throw a whole lot of sharp sourness into the mix, which is more than welcome to offset the greasy deliciousness going on inside the burger. If the Tindle patty was an actual cut of chicken...hoo lawdy. Chicken sandwich perfection is what we’d have.⠀

The Impossible patties are much more convincing than the Tindle patties, but I’d still advise trying the What The Cluck at least once to experience the deliciousness of The Goodburger’s burger brilliance.

I don’t remember the Happy Days burger ($20 nett) existing the last time I paid a visit to @thegoodburgersg, but I’m glad it does now. It’s basically a cheeseburger decked out in barbecue sauce & onion rings, except that it’s essentially a veggie burger.⠀

The real highlight here are those onion rings. Due to the beer batter used, it tastes & smells slightly sweet & doughy, almost like a donut. The batter is sensational, as it is a thin, charmingly crunchy crust that encases the ultra thick ring of sliced onion. The batter is an attractive golden brown, while the onion within is supple & translucent, just starting to lose its natural crunch, which is reinforced by the aforementioned batter.⠀

The BBQ sauce does a fantastic job of disguising the meatless Impossible patty as an average beef patty. It’s probably a store bought sauce, but it does its job excellently. As with all the other Impossible burgers, you must order a double patty stacker if you want to experience full satisfaction. The patties are loose in texture, which means that a single burger is gonna leave you high and dry on the outskirts of Flavortown.⠀

Yes, the double is twenty six dollars, but if you absolutely positively gotta have a veggie burger craving scratched, then this is the way.⠀

Thanks once again for hosting us, @thegoodburgersg & @burpple!

The real reason why I accepted the invite to @thegoodburgersg was to have another Night In Bangkok ($20 for a single Impossible patty). I found it to be the best burger the last time I was at The Goodburger, albeit with a lot of unfulfilled potential. This time, the One Night In Bangkok was vastly improved.⠀

The main downer about the earlier iteration of this burger was the lack of secret Thai-inspired sauce, and The Goodburger has laid it on extra thick this time to my delight. The luscious lemongrass powered concoction is satisfyingly sapid and slightly chunky thanks to the inclusion of chopped onions within the sauce, leasing it’s tantalising Thai characteristics to the Impossible patty. ⠀

As per the last time, the buns are absolute perfection. Shockingly, they’re just plain white bread buns. Not brioche, not potato, not anything fancy, just ordinary buns fashioned into something out of a delightful dream.⠀

Still, I do think that this meatless burger could be elevated a further step closer to nirvana with the inclusion of sliced red onions pickled in a distinctly Thai vinaigrette mix, or some sharp & spicy green mango mix on the burger for more textural variety. I do believe that The Goodburger is arguably the best Impossible burger merchant round town, mainly because it’s their specialty and sole focus. And when you focus down something as hard as these folks, you tend to get good.⠀

Thanks for the invite, @thegoodburgersg & @burpple!

First post about @ashessgburnnit, but it ain’t my first time scarfing down their burgers, and it sure as hell won’t be my last. Unless my memory’s gone out like a blown lightbulb, I’m sure Ashes was the pioneer of hawker centre burgers years back, blazing a trail for all the young hawkers to take inspiration from. They’ve rebranded since then & opened up their newest outpost in Alexandra Village, and one does not simply set up shop near me without getting a visit from yours truly.⠀

A double smash cheeseburger sets you back by $8.40 nett, and it’s easily on par, if not better, than many restaurants, cafés & burger chains while being about half the price. Two juicy, thick & tremendously tasty minced beef patties are clad in meticulously melted American cheese, and then they’re loaded into a charcoal black burger bun slathered with Ashes’ Signature Sauce. As a final touch, the burger is garnished with shredded lettuce & fried shallots.⠀

The burger is beefy, breathtaking bliss, but it could be improved in a couple ways. Firstly, the shallots were too few to make an impact, so a lot more shallots in the burger would make the impact intended, injecting a lot of crunch & the sweet, salty & toasty flavours of fried shallots into the burger. Secondly, a whole leaf of fresh lettuce holds up way better than shredded lettuce, which just tends to make a mess of everything.⠀

As for the fries, you can upgrade the bare fries to cheese fries or truffle fries. Sure, the truffle fries are chock full of the heady, intoxicating aroma of truffle oil & the stretchiness of half melted shredded mozzarella, but the cheese fries were on another plane of luxury altogether. The thick, crisp yet fluffy shoestring fries are doused in an equitable amount of molten cheese and glazed with mayonnaise just to make everything even more gloriously gluttonous.⠀

Before you rush out to catch these ashes, don’t forget the wet wipes. It’s gonna get messy. Oh and don’t forget to wash this brilliant burger experience down with a cold pint of beer from @dangerclosebeverageco. These burgers are halal, but I’m a hundred percent haram, baby.


Unless I’ve got it all wrong, this is the final week that the crazy collab between & @veronicaphua will be available. So make it down to either @meatsmith_sg outlet lickety split & get yourself a ludicrous burger that shouldn’t work, but it does.⠀

The Laksa Lobster Burger ($22++) is absolutely unprecedented. Sure, high end hotel restaurants have been loading lobsters into the normally humble yet hearty spicy soup of satiation for years, but putting laksa into a burger? That’s a bold strategy Cotton, and it pays off for ‘em. Colossal chunks of impeccably tandoori roasted lobster tail are inundated in a ludicrously luxurious laksa gravy, garnished with a smattering of sprouts & crispy pork lard before the deal is sealed with two halves of a toasted brioche bun from @burntends_sg.⠀

The brioche bun was far firmer than expected of a brioche, and was texturally more akin to standard white bread with the decent amount of bite that it has. As for the laksa gravy...oh brother. It’s the richest, most luscious laksa gravy I’ve ever had, and even that’s an understatement. It’s decently spicy, and it’s enhanced by the chili butter. Plus, it’s pleasantly perfumed with the scent of laksa leaves, lemongrass & other scintillating spices within the excellent elixir.⠀

The crispy deep fried lard & fresh beansprouts added the classic charm of a brilliant bowl of laksa into the burger, injecting a familiar element into the potpourri of piquancy. The julienned cucumbers that have been marinated with laksa leaves do inject a bit of levity into the otherwise extravagant burger. It ain’t much, but it’s honest work from the cucumbers.⠀

All in all, this is a ridiculously redolent burger, and you definitely should grab it before it’s gone. Preferably order it while dining in, but takeaway & delivery of this beaut of a burger is available too.⠀

@ordinaryburgers are anything but ordinary, believe me. Their excellent ebi burgers are only $10.20 with a can of cola and your choice of either french fries or onion rings, and it’s well worth your money. The piquant prawn patty is coated with panko breadcrumbs before being delectably deep fried to a glorious golden brown crisp. ⠀

Next up, some basic yet irresistible processed American cheese is melted over the top of the patty, before a dollop of Kewpie(?) mayonnaise goes on, and finally two halves of a soft, fluffy burger bun sandwich all that fried fabulousness. I’m not quite sure what the filler was in the patty, but it was delightfully delish, and had a texture almost akin to fishcake. Of course, the superb shrimp were snappy & fresh, and there was quite an abundance of shrimp inside. It’s a simple yet brilliant burger, and that’s all you need sometimes.⠀

Ordinary Burgers? No way fam. These burger are EXTRAordinary, and the sides are sublime. All those big fast food chains better watch out, cause these humble burgers will have them thoroughly beat.

Get into the Mamba Mentality with the maniacal Mamba Burger ($19) from A colossal collab between @meatsmith_sg & @parkbenchdeli where the madlads from both sides took a fantastic cheeseburger from Meatsmith, and shoved in a massive mound of meat in the form of smoked beef pastrami AND corned beef. Because, y’know, more meat makes meat even better. Science, bitch!⠀

I have fawned over Meatsmith’s fantastic cheeseburgers before, and it’s the same here. A 100% brisket patty has 2 slices of MURICAN cheese melted over it. Before the top half of the dense & soft potato bun comes in to seal the deal, the pastrami & corned beef are heaped atop the patty, a helping of homemade coleslaw joins in the orgy, said orgy is lubricated by redolent Russian dressing, and a pair of pickles quietly slid in through the backdoor and are just trying hard to blend in.⠀

Yes, it’s a maelstrom of meat, but it’s a goddamn magnificent maelstrom of meat, and you WILL love it (or else). The normal smokiness of the cheeseburger patty gets upped by about 200% due to the charming corned beef & pastrami, which are supremely smoky & satisfyingly salty. Oh, and they’re pretty tender too. The corn in the ‘slaw is hopelessly out of place, but hey since it’s here might as well.⠀

The Mamba is a massive, meat-laden burger that requires you to make like a snake to fit the entire thing in your maw, but it is unadulterated & greatly gratifying gluttony at its best. Unfortunately, it’s a takeaway & delivery only exclusive, which means that it will almost never be enjoyed at its hot, fresh off the grill prime. They should make this a permanent fixture at both @meatsmith_sg & @parkbenchdeli, so that everyone can gorge themselves on the glorious creation.⠀

Currently it’s only available till Valentines Day, so fellas... give your special lady the gift of your massive, meaty Mamba on the 14th and she’ll love you 3000 5ever.

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Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal⠀

That’s right, the Samurai Burger (a.k.a. @mcdsg best burger since the vanishing of the Fan-tastic burgers) is back, baby! It’s essentially a Big Mac, but way better. Sure, there ain’t no cheese in there, but a deluge of McDonald’s own teriyaki sauce soaks the whole burger, and the mysteriously marvellous McChicken mayo is slathered all over the top.⠀

Look, imma keep it real with you chief. This ain’t no gourmet burger, this is a down & dirty burger you order to get that persistent itch for a greasy thing that encompasses meaty, salty, sweet & umami savagely scratched. God damn if it isn’t fantastic. And if you don’t like this burger, I regret to inform you that you have the coronavirus. How do I know you have the big coof, you ask? Well, it’s simple.⠀

You clearly lack a sense of taste.


@hattendo_singapore eponymous big boi burger, the Pipes Burger($21.90), is available for daylight robbery with #burpplebeyond. Yeah, y’all already know the drill: two for the price of one. And this colossal burger ain’t an exception.⠀

The same fluffy burger buns barely contain the square of tamago, the ultra T H I C C hamburg patty, and the slice of foie gras. You will probably need to dislocate your jaw to get everything in one bite, but trust me when I say it’s worth it. The foie gras was a touch overcooked, but it still served satisfactorily as an indecently indulgent lubricant. A sort of meaty butter, if you will.⠀

The patty was oddly powdery in texture when I bit down into it, but it was still modestly moist & thoroughly well seasoned with an extra spicy slap from the hickory pepper sauce.The caramelised mirin onion marmalade injected a subtle yet scintillating sweetness into the burger, which was very well received. The omelette felt like an unnecessary addition to the burger as it was completely overshadowed by everything else, but it is what it is. And it, my friends, is a tasty burger.⠀

Once again, much love to @hattendo_singapore & @burpple for having us at this Eatup!

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Not gonna lie folks, the burgers do seem a little out of place on @hattendo_singapore menu, sandwiched awkwardly between the rice bowl & pasta sections of the menu. However, when they’re as addictively appetising as the Aburiya A4 wagyu beef burger ($19.90), nobody really cares about that.⠀

This burger here is an ambitious crossover between Hattendo & Aburi-ya, the Japanese grilled meat ricebowl chain, and it’s a little outta left field. Instead of a regular hamburger patty, an abundance of roasted A4 wagyu beef slices are the meat in the burger, all snuggled up atop a square of omelette between the slightly oily but fabulously fluffy burger buns.⠀

That’s right, it’s a roast beef sandwich, but goddamn if it ain’t downright delectable. The roast beef is sufficiently fatty while sporting a deliciousness borne from the secret Aburi-ya sauce that dresses it. The omelette was considerably denser than I would’ve expected, but it’s all good. The guacamole slathered on the underside of the top bun provides a little extra lube, but it doesn’t bring much to the flavour party. The fluffy, beautiful buns may have been slathered with butter a little too enthusiastically, but hey it’s a burger. Go all out and enjoy it to its fullest, fellas.⠀

I kinda feel like a broken record at this point, but yes, #burpplebeyond gets you two of these plumptious pretties for the price of one. Two brilliant burgers for under twenty bucks? Oh hell yeah lesss goooo!!!⠀


@shakeshacksg Shackmeister burger is just a standard Shackburger, minus the vegetables, but with the addition of deep fried shallots. These deep fried shallots ain’t just any old, boring shallots, they’ve been marinated in Shake Shack’s proprietary Shackmeister Ale. A subtle sweetness is imparted from the ale to the shallots, and it’s a nice changeup from the intense onslaught of the salty, beefy flavours from the burger.⠀

Yes, of course I had a double Shackmeister ($14.40). You don’t get to be my size without going big & living large. It’s an insanely indulgent burger, with the juicy, scintillatingly seasoned pair of beef patties accentuated & augmented by the sapid, stellar ShackSauce. That’s wedged between those perfect potato buns, which were slightly sweet, deliciously dense & sinfully soft. It could’ve all been too much of a good thing, but the light, airy crunchiness of the deep fried shallots were there to keep me going strong.⠀

Still, having a cup of lemonade or a refreshing beer on hand to wash down the rich, delicious greasiness is still strongly advised. I wanted a pint of the Shackmeister ale to wash down this tasty burger, but it seems like they used all the ale to deep fry those scrumptious shallots. Also, I don’t think I’ve lavished enough praise on Shake Shack’s fantastic french fries. Yes, they’re plain, but by God these fries are fabulous. Crispy, salty and absurdly addictive, these spuds are simply stunning.⠀

Oh well, I’ve still got fourteen more days to wash down fourteen more of these tasty burgers with fourteen pints of Shackmeister ale. That’s the plan, that’s the hope, that’s the dream.

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If memory doesn’t fail me, used to operate at 313 Somerset before they suddenly shut down. However, they’ve made a rather quiet comeback at NAFA, directly across the street from Sunshine Plaza. They now serve up brilliant beef burgers & fantastic fried chicken, along with a monthly special.⠀

November’s special is this homely looking Signature Chicken Burger ($11 nett), which tends to run out of stock pretty rapidly everyday. A ‘GG’ French Poulet (a breed of chicken from Sabres, France) Boneless Chicken Thigh Fillet from Toh Thye San Farms is grilled to glorious perfection before becoming the marvellously mouthwatering meat in the ultra T H I C C brioche bun sandwich. Said brioche buns are toasted to perfection and have been slathered with kimchi mayonnaise, and finally the whole shebang is garnished with pickled onions.⠀

It’s a simple sandwich, but it’s quite unbeatable. The main flavour provider is that utterly umami kimchi mayo, which provides a sprightly spiciness & a little tartness alongside the deep, salty creaminess of the mayonnaise. As a matter of fact, Wildfire could’ve slathered on that majestic mayo more liberally which would greatly heighten the already potent piquancy of this chicken burger, but no complaints, no regrets.⠀

I didn’t think it possible for chicken to melt in the mouth, but this thigh fillet pretty much did that. It’s immensely juicy, yet the texture & weightiness of the chicken was ethereally light. The smokiness from the grill had thoroughly permeated every atom of chicken, and as weird as it sounds, it’s like eating majestically meaty & joyously juicy smoke. The buns may look a little too thick, but like the rest of the burger, they were ludicrously light & far, far too easy to gobble down. The sweet pickled onions were divinely inspired, adding a sweet, sharp tang that bound the entire burger together for a maelstrom of mouthwatering magnificence.⠀

This burger may not look like it, but it’s perfectly balanced, as all things should be. GG WP indeed.


Alcohol may not be good for my body, but my body is good for alcohol.

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