Bloody Beautiful Burgers

Bloody Beautiful Burgers

The person who invented the burger probably didn't foresee just how far burgers have evolved since it was created (probably by accident). If he/she did, they would probably have wept tears of joy over some of these breathtaking burgers.
Russell Leong
Russell Leong

Ever since that Korean burger chain abruptly upped and left the building, there hasn’t been a dedicated Korean burger joint in Singapore. Fret not good folks, for @bbbunsfordays is here to fill that void. Sure they’ve got the universal cheeseburger & chicken burger, but what you’re really here for are those burgers spiced up with Korean flair.⠀

Their BB-Bul-Go-Gi burger is the logical conclusion of marrying a cheeseburger to Korean culinary heritage. When it comes to Korea and beef, bulgogi was the inevitable outcome. This big bad bulgogi burger is loaded down with a double portion of meat, because of course I ordered an extra helping of bulgogi beef. Go big or go home, people.⠀

The American beef flank shavings were marinated in bulgogi, which imbued the beef with all of its sweet & salty sapidity. The ballad of beef gets to tango with thinly sliced white onions on the grill until it all gets captivatingly charred during the hot & heavy mating. Then, the awaiting brioche buns that Bbburgers are so proud of (rightfully so) are slathered with some mayo, dressed modestly with a leaf of lettuce, and used to barely contain the avalanche of divine bovine.⠀

Unfortunately, you can have too much of a good thing. The brilliant bulgogi beef got overbearingly sweet & salty in equal proportion, and the caramelised onions offered no respite from the onslaught of flavour. I found myself wishing for something sharp and/or spicy to stem the tide, like some kimchi in the burger instead of lettuce or even pickled radish. This burger is delicious, for sure, but it will run amok if it’s left unchecked.⠀

Aside from that minor improvement that could and should be made, this BB-Bul-Go-Gi burger is a certified 🅱️adass 🅱️ig 🅱️oi 🅱️urger.

Burgers hold up passably well to the rigours of delivery, and nothing quite beats the comfort of burying your face in between two fabulously fat & lusciously lubricated buns in the comfort of your own home. My previous encounter with @burgersbywolf a few years back wasn’t the most pleasant, but they got this chance to make amends via @grabfoodsg.⠀

Comically enough, the Apex ($26.75 before discount for fries, drink and the whole shebang) from the cloud kitchen actually fared better than the burger I had in person at the Suntec City outlet. Yep, these obscenely obese wagyu beef patties were actually sufficiently seasoned this time around! Oh yeah, the Wolf Burger remontada is on.⠀

To be honest with y’all, I dismissed Wolf Burger’s description of the Apex burger consisting of ‘a thick juicy wagyu patty’ as pure baloney, but as you can quite clearly see I was wrong. No falsehoods here, so no party is gonna ask you to take it to the grave. Actually, come to think of it, there really wasn’t any need for me to slap on another patty for and extra five bucks-wait, what nonsensical blasphemy am I blurting out? No, of COURSE I HAD to make it a double AND add turkey bacon, duh!⠀

The terrifically T H I C C wagyu beef patties were cross examined for nine seconds, not nine hours, and they were demonstrably juicy and brilliantly beefy. However, as you can see, the consistency when it comes to cooking the patties is suspect at best. One patty came marvellously medium as requested, but the other wasn’t just well done, it was ‘congratulations’. Both were undoubtedly juicy, yes, but consistency is key.⠀

The aged cheddar was totally eclipsed by the behemoth beef patty, but it did add an umami creaminess to the burger. I thought the burger could’ve used more of those sweet caramelised onions and a couple of crunchy lettuce leaves, but this 🅱️ig 🅱️oi 🅱️urger is still categorically brilliant.

Believe it or not, this is the first time I’ve ever had a SmokeShack ($14.40 for a double). I’ve gotten sidetracked by limited time specials like the shallot one, or simply failed to resist the allure of the almighty Shack Stack on my previous forays into the Holy of Holies of fast food burgers. This time, however, I stayed strong to finally wrap my ravenous maw around the SmokeShack.⠀

Don’t get me wrong, it was still a beautiful burger, but the domineering cherry peppers simply drowned everything else out with their loud, spicy and smoky flavours. The salty, gratifyingly greasy smashed beef patties were obfuscated by the peppers, and the bacon simply faded into the shadows due to the domineering character of the cherry peppers.⠀

Still, the SmokeShack will comfortably beat many burgers out there due to the sublime quality of the ingredients & seasoning on the burger. Protip: add on some raw onion rings, a couple of pickles and a pint of ale to temper the hedonistic lavishness of the SmokeShack. Thank me once you’re done devouring this tasty burger.

Twenty six bucks is pretty astronomical for a burger, but at least @sevenscafe.sg tries to soften the blow by making this a bonafide 🅱️ig 🅱️oi 🅱️urger. The Gyu Burger is constructed from an extra T H I C C wagyu beef patty that’s smothered between layers of house-cured bacon, Swiss cheese, American cheese, veggies, tangy pickle relish and brioche buns.⠀

It’s a tall burger, and it’s also a tasty burger. The minced beef patty is done to a mouthwatering medium, with hints of pink inside. Despite its dry appearance, it is delightfully juicy and fantastically fatty, with every soul satisfying bite compelling you to take another behemoth bite. The bacon is cured in house with a proprietary spice blend, and it’s more peppery & less salty than most other bacon out there. Texture wise, it’s actually a dead ringer for Korean BBQ pork belly!⠀

Double cheese is doubly nice, and the brioche buns were airy & pillowy soft, but the thing I really couldn’t get enough of was the sweet relish. Yes, I know it’s just minced up pickles, but the tangy, refreshing flavour that cut through & balanced out the rich meaty flavours was utterly mesmerising. I really wish there was more of that relish, because it truly made the burger a brilliant one.⠀

The Gyu Burger is doubtlessly expensive, but it’s a peerless option when you wanna flex on the poors and get your burger cravings settled at the same time. Seven wonders? Nah, get me seven of these burgers instead.

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@mcdsg seem to be starting a fried chicken side hustle with the permanent fixture of the McCrispy (aka the McShitty because of what it does to your bowels), and now the unexpected collab with @benyeo23. The Hainanese Chicken Burger is a half truth, as it’s a deep fried chicken fillet as opposed to the poached chicken that defines Hainanese chicken, but it definitely is a burger.⠀

As you may have already guessed, the chicken did not make this burger. It’s still greatly gratifying though, as it’s juicy, meaty and decently deep fried, and you have to be trolling to make fried chicken bad. No, the sauces were the reason why McDonald’s had the guts to even call this a Hainanese chicken burger. The gloriously garlicky chili was mildly spicy but possessed no less flavoursome fabulousness than the best chicken rice chilies out there. ⠀

The ginger paste/sauce was insanely gingery, and has probably been robbed from an actual chicken rice stall. I refuse to believe that Mickey D’s can actually whip up a ginger sauce that can beat many chicken rice hawkers out there. Ain’t no way, ain’t no fuckin’ way. And of course, the extra touch of dark, slightly sweet soy sauce on top really seals the deal & turns this burger into a legit tasting Hainanese Chicken experience. Oh, and these waffle fries? Absolute potato perfection. Potatoes aspire to become these waffle fries when they grow up, trust me.⠀

The semolina flour dusted buns were tastefully toasted & fluffy, and the veg was a little out of place but not unwelcome. Pickled veg would definitely be the way to go, but you know what would REALLY turn this into a legit Hainanese Chicken experience? Chicken rice burger buns, son, that’s how. As a matter of fact, it would then morph into the gone but definitely not forgotten pinnacle of culinary art that are the Fan-tastic burgers. Strap in kids, it’s time for more Fan-tastic burger propaganda.⠀

@mcdsg bring back the Fan-tastic burgers already before I be wil’in in your stores. It’s the only good thing you guys have come up with since the Samurai burger. And the McGriddles. And these waffle fries. Run the Fan-tastic burgers back again, right god damn now.

It’s been eighty four years since I last had a ramly burger-okay fine, the last ramly burger I had was in the last pasar malam (night market) in early 2020, before the corona robbed us of normalcy. Still, it’s been a long ass while since my last ramly fix, and I’m pretty grateful that I’ve discovered @ramburgersg.⠀

At four bucks for a regular beef ramly and extra two for an extra patty, this burger isn’t that much more expensive than the classic pasar malam version. Plus, you can make it a meal with curly fries & a drink for a grand total of…nine dollars. Everything is a carbon copy of the old & beloved greasy street food classic, from the mass produced buns, to the highly processed patties that (hopefully) contain beef and are pretty sus because of the odd colouring, the omelette that serves as a nice little golden blanket for the patties, and the chili sauce, black pepper sauce, mayonnaise & ketchup which exist in harmony.⠀

Still, there was something distinctly missing from Ramburger’s ramlys. Perhaps it’s because it ain’t anywhere near saucy enough, or because it’s missing a secret spice mix that’s shaken liberally over the patties while grilling, or it might be because I’m eating a ramly burger while stone cold sober. Come to think of it, this is the first time I’ve ever consumed a ramly burger while not absolutely shitfaced drunk & hammered at two in the morning.⠀

Still, it’s a passably delectable burger at the price it commands, and I’m definitely going back for the prawn burger. Also, curly fries. They got me curled around their finger, I tell ya what.

In theory, @ashessgburnnit Pulled Brisket Burger is pure perfection. At $6.90 (nice) for the regular, and $9.40 nett for double the beefy brisket bliss, this is a brilliant bargain. The Australian beef brisket is braised in what is probably a marvellous mirepoix for twenty four hours, which is why all that’s needed for it to fall apart are these hands. That’s right, no knife or fork needed to pull the brisket apart, only hands.⠀

The salty, rich & unforgettably umami brisket is heaped into a ponderous pile on a leaf of lettuce, which itself is perched upon the bottom half of a charcoal burger bun. A quick drizzling of Ashes’ ‘signature sauce’, which seems to be a cheese sauce, is the last element that goes on the burger before the top half of the bun caps it all off. Supported by a side of French fries that can be upgraded to either cheese or truffle fries, and it’s ready for showtime.⠀

However, in practice, it definitely did not go according to plan. The scintillatingly savoury & tender beef brisket was so maddeningly moist & saucy that the bottom bun was disintegrating on its own. The protective barrier that was supposed to be the lettuce was definitively breached by the deluge of glorious gravy from the brisket, and the bun was absolutely no match. Another persistent problem was the lack of a backstop. Every time I took a gargantuan gnaw of the tasty burger, a cascade of brisket would blow out her back.⠀

Forget the knife, this is definitely a fork & spoon affair. Unless Ashes manage to find a way to fortify the burger buns from the onslaught of the saucy beef, this burger is probably better when deconstructed into its delicious components. Perhaps stuffing it all into a bun that isn’t sliced all the way through is a start, so that there’s a burger pocket to trap all the brisket that’s attempting a prison break from my jaw.

Still undeniably unctuous though, and it’s a hell of a tasty burger in my books.

Now we get to the meat (or lack thereof really) of the matter: @thegoodburgersg new not-chicken burger, the Tindle patty powered What The Cluck burger ($18 nett). The Tindle fake chicken patty is backed up by those glorious buns, a homemade secret sauce, cheese and pickles. It’s a good ol’ chicken burger from down South, except minus any actual chicken.⠀

The Tindle patty does look like chicken, but it all falls apart the minute you bite into it. Chicken is soft & supple in texture, but the Tindle patty gets increasingly dense the more you bite into it, almost like biting into cardboard. The weird thing about Tindle is that it starts to dissolve into a powdery residue when you start to chew on it, exactly like a paracetamol tablet dissolving on your tongue.⠀

The fake chicken leaves much to be desired, but Goodburger’s batter is stunningly sublime. Crunchy, crispy, craggy and seasoned superbly, the batter rescued the Tindle patty from gastronomic hell. The batter’s loyal wingman is the stellar secret sauce, which is creamy, salty and slightly spicy, which combines well with the melted cheese to smoothen out the textures of the batter. The pickles throw a whole lot of sharp sourness into the mix, which is more than welcome to offset the greasy deliciousness going on inside the burger. If the Tindle patty was an actual cut of chicken...hoo lawdy. Chicken sandwich perfection is what we’d have.⠀

The Impossible patties are much more convincing than the Tindle patties, but I’d still advise trying the What The Cluck at least once to experience the deliciousness of The Goodburger’s burger brilliance.

I don’t remember the Happy Days burger ($20 nett) existing the last time I paid a visit to @thegoodburgersg, but I’m glad it does now. It’s basically a cheeseburger decked out in barbecue sauce & onion rings, except that it’s essentially a veggie burger.⠀

The real highlight here are those onion rings. Due to the beer batter used, it tastes & smells slightly sweet & doughy, almost like a donut. The batter is sensational, as it is a thin, charmingly crunchy crust that encases the ultra thick ring of sliced onion. The batter is an attractive golden brown, while the onion within is supple & translucent, just starting to lose its natural crunch, which is reinforced by the aforementioned batter.⠀

The BBQ sauce does a fantastic job of disguising the meatless Impossible patty as an average beef patty. It’s probably a store bought sauce, but it does its job excellently. As with all the other Impossible burgers, you must order a double patty stacker if you want to experience full satisfaction. The patties are loose in texture, which means that a single burger is gonna leave you high and dry on the outskirts of Flavortown.⠀

Yes, the double is twenty six dollars, but if you absolutely positively gotta have a veggie burger craving scratched, then this is the way.⠀

Thanks once again for hosting us, @thegoodburgersg & @burpple!

The real reason why I accepted the invite to @thegoodburgersg was to have another Night In Bangkok ($20 for a single Impossible patty). I found it to be the best burger the last time I was at The Goodburger, albeit with a lot of unfulfilled potential. This time, the One Night In Bangkok was vastly improved.⠀

The main downer about the earlier iteration of this burger was the lack of secret Thai-inspired sauce, and The Goodburger has laid it on extra thick this time to my delight. The luscious lemongrass powered concoction is satisfyingly sapid and slightly chunky thanks to the inclusion of chopped onions within the sauce, leasing it’s tantalising Thai characteristics to the Impossible patty. ⠀

As per the last time, the buns are absolute perfection. Shockingly, they’re just plain white bread buns. Not brioche, not potato, not anything fancy, just ordinary buns fashioned into something out of a delightful dream.⠀

Still, I do think that this meatless burger could be elevated a further step closer to nirvana with the inclusion of sliced red onions pickled in a distinctly Thai vinaigrette mix, or some sharp & spicy green mango mix on the burger for more textural variety. I do believe that The Goodburger is arguably the best Impossible burger merchant round town, mainly because it’s their specialty and sole focus. And when you focus down something as hard as these folks, you tend to get good.⠀

Thanks for the invite, @thegoodburgersg & @burpple!

First post about @ashessgburnnit, but it ain’t my first time scarfing down their burgers, and it sure as hell won’t be my last. Unless my memory’s gone out like a blown lightbulb, I’m sure Ashes was the pioneer of hawker centre burgers years back, blazing a trail for all the young hawkers to take inspiration from. They’ve rebranded since then & opened up their newest outpost in Alexandra Village, and one does not simply set up shop near me without getting a visit from yours truly.⠀

A double smash cheeseburger sets you back by $8.40 nett, and it’s easily on par, if not better, than many restaurants, cafés & burger chains while being about half the price. Two juicy, thick & tremendously tasty minced beef patties are clad in meticulously melted American cheese, and then they’re loaded into a charcoal black burger bun slathered with Ashes’ Signature Sauce. As a final touch, the burger is garnished with shredded lettuce & fried shallots.⠀

The burger is beefy, breathtaking bliss, but it could be improved in a couple ways. Firstly, the shallots were too few to make an impact, so a lot more shallots in the burger would make the impact intended, injecting a lot of crunch & the sweet, salty & toasty flavours of fried shallots into the burger. Secondly, a whole leaf of fresh lettuce holds up way better than shredded lettuce, which just tends to make a mess of everything.⠀

As for the fries, you can upgrade the bare fries to cheese fries or truffle fries. Sure, the truffle fries are chock full of the heady, intoxicating aroma of truffle oil & the stretchiness of half melted shredded mozzarella, but the cheese fries were on another plane of luxury altogether. The thick, crisp yet fluffy shoestring fries are doused in an equitable amount of molten cheese and glazed with mayonnaise just to make everything even more gloriously gluttonous.⠀

Before you rush out to catch these ashes, don’t forget the wet wipes. It’s gonna get messy. Oh and don’t forget to wash this brilliant burger experience down with a cold pint of beer from @dangerclosebeverageco. These burgers are halal, but I’m a hundred percent haram, baby.

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Unless I’ve got it all wrong, this is the final week that the crazy collab between @meatsmith.xpress.sg & @veronicaphua will be available. So make it down to either @meatsmith_sg outlet lickety split & get yourself a ludicrous burger that shouldn’t work, but it does.⠀

The Laksa Lobster Burger ($22++) is absolutely unprecedented. Sure, high end hotel restaurants have been loading lobsters into the normally humble yet hearty spicy soup of satiation for years, but putting laksa into a burger? That’s a bold strategy Cotton, and it pays off for ‘em. Colossal chunks of impeccably tandoori roasted lobster tail are inundated in a ludicrously luxurious laksa gravy, garnished with a smattering of sprouts & crispy pork lard before the deal is sealed with two halves of a toasted brioche bun from @burntends_sg.⠀

The brioche bun was far firmer than expected of a brioche, and was texturally more akin to standard white bread with the decent amount of bite that it has. As for the laksa gravy...oh brother. It’s the richest, most luscious laksa gravy I’ve ever had, and even that’s an understatement. It’s decently spicy, and it’s enhanced by the chili butter. Plus, it’s pleasantly perfumed with the scent of laksa leaves, lemongrass & other scintillating spices within the excellent elixir.⠀

The crispy deep fried lard & fresh beansprouts added the classic charm of a brilliant bowl of laksa into the burger, injecting a familiar element into the potpourri of piquancy. The julienned cucumbers that have been marinated with laksa leaves do inject a bit of levity into the otherwise extravagant burger. It ain’t much, but it’s honest work from the cucumbers.⠀

All in all, this is a ridiculously redolent burger, and you definitely should grab it before it’s gone. Preferably order it while dining in, but takeaway & delivery of this beaut of a burger is available too.⠀

Alcohol may not be good for my body, but my body is good for alcohol.

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